One of the worst things for a parent is to see their child go through a divorce. When that child is a son and a parent, you may be even more worried as fathers have traditionally fared worse than mothers in divorces.
The good news is that courts no longer think this way – (or they shouldn’t). The law requires judges to give fathers and mothers an equal starting point in the child-related matters of a divorce. There should be no presumption that children will be better off with a mother just because she is female.
Here are some things you can do to support your son through their divorce:
Communicating with your child
If your son has never been keen to open up with you about how they are feeling, don’t expect divorce will change that. All the same, try to create opportunities where they feel comfortable enough to do so should they wish while refraining from pressuring them. Simply saying, “I’m here if you ever want to talk” may be enough.
Offer support, not judgment
Maybe you are upset that your son lost what you consider to be a dream spouse. Or perhaps you are pleased they finally realized the woman was no good for them. Don’t go in with, “I told you she was no good for you” or “I told you it was only a matter of time before you lost her.” What your son needs right now is support, not judgment or your opinions about their spouse. Better to gently remind your son that divorce is common and that as much as it hurts now, things will get better.
Another reason not to criticize their spouse is because you may still need to deal with them because of the kids. If word gets back to them that you have been talking nastily about them behind their back, it will make things more difficult for everyone.
Point them in the right direction
Your son needs to make their own decisions during their divorce. You can help by pointing them in the direction of someone who can offer appropriate legal guidance.