The importance of being a “girl dad” is often widely celebrated these days. Unfortunately, when it comes to determining custody (or “parenting time,” as it’s called here in Florida), the belief that girls need their mothers more than their fathers can still get in the way of divorcing dads remaining in their daughters’ lives as much as they’d like to.
Sometimes, men themselves buy into the idea that their daughters (especially if they’re nearing or in their teen years) are better off living primarily with their mothers because they’re better able to deal with the changes that go on in girls’ lives (and bodies) as they grow into young women. Perhaps partially as a result of such assumptions, researchers have found that father-daughter relationships tend to suffer more than father-son relationships when parents divorce.
A father can potentially influence his daughters’ view of herself and others
Fathers can play a crucial role in their daughters’ upbringing and in the way they see themselves and others – particularly men – for the rest of their lives. A father’s influence can affect not just their romantic relationships but their friendships and professional relationships with men as adults. Fathers are generally girls’ first male role models – for better or worse. How a girl is treated by her father, as well as how she sees him treat other females, can have a big impact on how she expects men to treat her.
For example, does a father disparage his ex-wife and blame her for the divorce or acknowledge that she’s a good mom and a good person even though their marriage didn’t work out? Does a daughter see him comment on women’s appearance, positively or negatively? Does he tease his daughter if she puts on a few pounds or is he the first to reassure her if someone else makes her feel bad about herself? Fathers can potentially, for example, be a lot more influential in minimizing their daughters’ body image issues than their mothers can.
These are all things that girl dads should consider as they work toward a parenting time arrangement and parenting plan that will be best for their daughter both now and as they grow.